Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Raw Wrap

These wraps will be designed to act as a supplement to watching Raw. You can find full Raw results by clicking here.

Seth Green hosted tonight, and in a role where I thought he would not do well, he delivered a pretty entertaining show. Right off the bat, he had us reeling. The first thing Seth does is rattle off six words that would put any guest host on the face bandwagon:

Six person diva swimsuit summer spectacular

This was the first match of the night and from a wrestling standpoint it was the best.

Maryse, Rosa Mendes, & Alicia Fox def. Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, and Gail Kim

T & A aside, this match proved that Gail Kim is the most talented diva on the roster. She gailacunranna'd the crap out of one of her opponents. In the end, Maryse dropped her deadly DDT on James to continue to build for the grudge match at the PPV. 3 out of 5 stars.

The Miz def. Primo
Primo calls out Carlito. Miz comes out, runs mouth. Miz and Primo start the match, Carlito's music hits. Carlito distracts Primo. Miz hits his finisher and collects the win. After the match, Primo gets attacked by Carlito and gets apple spit right onto his dome. I don't know about you, but i'm tired of the "family v. family" storylines. I would have rather they shipped Primo or Carlito off to ECW at this point.
2.5 out of 5 stars

Jack Swagger def. MVP

Jack Swagger defeated MVP in a clean victory. It was clearly street fighting vs. amateur wrestling and amateur wrestling won via the Swagger Bomb. I happen to dislike MVP and everything he's about so I'm glad Swagger is getting a mini-push right now.
3 out of 5 stars

Mark Henry def. Jericho
Jericho had an altercation with Green earlier in the night calling him a sycophant just like the rest of the Orlando WWE faithful. He comes out in a promo to tell all about a special clause that will allow him to pick a new tag partner. Henry comes out and we all suspect that HE is the new tag team partner (Yeah, OK). Henry attacks Jericho and it turns out Green set up a match between the two. Jericho, suit attire and all, ends up fleeing and is victim to a count-out loss via the World's Strongest Man.
2 out of 5 stars

Hornswoggle def. Chavo (one-hand behind back)
In a relatively entertaining match, Hornswoggle beats Chavo with a well-executed small package.
2.5 out of 5 stars

The Big Show def. Evan Bourne
The best part about this was that Kofi Kingston was the guest commentator. The King kept reminding Kofi about his match on Thursday against the Big Show and Kofi kept telling King that he "had something" for the Big Show. After a while it started to make me wonder what it actually was. Big Show absolutely breaks Bourne in half with a sphere before applying the newly coined, "Collossal Clutch."
3 out of 5 stars

Main Event- NO CONTEST
Seth Green, Triple H, John Cena v. The Legacy (Orton, DiBiase, Rhodes)
Before the match, still a little friction between Legacy. Rhodes makes a comment to DiBiase about how he has a much better relationship with HIS father. The Million Dollar Boy doesn't take to kindly to this and gets up in his grill. In-match-- No real action for Seth except sucker punching Rhodes in the dome and breaking up a post-RKO pin before all hell broke loose. It looked like Cena might have injured his arm after the match but i'm not sure. Would have liked to see a finish where Seth pinned a Legacy member after several finishers but I guess we can't always get what we want. After Cena and Helmsley clear the ring of the trash all three held their hands up together as Raw wrapped up.
2 out of 5 stars

After Cena offers to keep an eye on Green instead of Triple H, Triple H says,
"All do respect, I mean, if you want to hang out with Dudley Do-Right over here. ."

After Carlito's post-match attack on Primo, Michael Cole says,
"It was indeed Carlito's way, tonight."

Six person swimsuit summer spectacular
There really wasn't anything special from the boys tonight.

  • What does Kofi "got" for the Big Show, anyway?
  • Now seriously, what's the only thing worse than owning one "Stoopid Monkey" t-shirt?
  • When Cena tagged in Green and held Rhodes, why did the ref not even attempt to get Cena out of the ring while he was holding Rhodes hostage for about 25 minutes?
  • Did anyone else think that Bourne's head was detached after the Show-sphere?
  • So Lilian, where's the decision on the main event?

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